Were I to plead my case

Were I to plead my case before God - how would I plead my case?

With eloquent words or as I have prayed when I have prayed sincere.

Would I approach that throne with the same dread with which I half-expected him to show his face on the numerous times that I have asked for visible proof of his existence?

Or would I enter the room with the same peace that I have felt the answered prayers on that which mattered.

For if he stood unveiled before me then there are two times that would have come to an end; the time of learning of how to trust myself in the absence of physical evidence that I come from more than earthly dust; and the time of thought in errant tandem.

Yet still that part of me, which cries for knowledge, yearns for proof that what I spend my time on has meaning.

For the wager of better life seems a pale shadow to the life spent in the sure knowledge of his existence.

The Right Move.

The right move becomes a foregone conclusion, when your focus splits
the distance between what is real and what is not.

Who I Am

I may not like a lot of the things that I did, but I like who I am.

I may not enjoy some of the effects that past choices have on my life
today, but I enjoy my life.

There are many times that I look at how much money I wasted; and I am
appalled. But I did what I had to do; Because I did not like the
man that I was before then. And I did not understand how to use what
I had wisely.

And so when I had money, I splurged, and dreamt large dreams; and I
acted big.

Out of that time that seems so long ago, came a patent that I wrote
on my own. From those times rose a man who I am proud to be.

There are many regrets in my life. And some of those regrets taken
on their own would crush a man. I know, because they have crushed me.

But when I look at the wrinkles that are starting to form in the
creases of my arms; or the lines that are beginning to show on my
forehead; I do not attribute those to painful memories. Because when
I look at my arms, I see my hands - they are strong and they never
tire. I can type for days without feeling any pain... even when I stop.

When I look at the lines on my forehead, or the gray in my hair - I
see my eyes. And they are eyes that look back into my soul with a
clarity that hides nothing: and I do not divert my gaze. I remember
the decades before when i could not look into that mirror -- or when
I would look into the glass and see something that I was not; and I
like what I see with such clarity today, for it IS me.

I have a deep and resounding faith in the God who showed me the way
to take what I have; accept it, and move on. And I am grateful that
I am alive.

What more could I ask for, than this:

To know that my redeemer lives;
To have my life as a mirror that reflects the truth of who I am today;
To have hands that are unfaltering, and eyes that are unswerving;
To have the love of a woman who completes me;
To have the sense of a higher purpose for which I am constantly
preparing myself to fulfill, even as I fulfill it;
To be able to catch a glimpse of the immensities of space, and the
majesties of God's firmament, even as I begin to understand it.

I like who I am.

Prayer

I pray - about the little things that I need - even those things that
I could not imagine would be important to him, but they are to me:
that I may manifest to my wife, the love that I have for her; that I
might accomplish the work that I have promised others I could do.

I pray for things that I know I have not the energy to accomplish
when I set out to do them - and when I pray I fasten in my mind the
times I have had that courage. I pray when I know that I don't
deserve what it is that I am asking for.

And he always answers. Sometimes it occurs while I pray - as my
requests are enlightened and I discover new facets of prayer and a
meeker attitude. Sometimes when I kneel _ I feel as if the hardness
of my heart and stiffness of my neck continue downward, to flow out
of me; and I am left as a child who is kneeling before his father.

Sometimes I pray and I feel the courage move upward from somewhere
deep inside and I am left as a warrior who kneels before his Lord -
and I can feel the sword that is either sheathed upon my back or
extended before me on the ground - and I sense the armor that spans
the breadth of my shoulders and know there is a shield next to me.

But always I know that there is - kneeling beside me - the savior of
my life who is guiding me in the words that I speak - usually he
waits for me to speak, before he kindly asks a question or carries on
an additional dialogue that I cannot hear: but sometimes he prompts
me. His words are always uttered in the language of my moment:
unless it is the moment itself that I am trying to escape. And then
his words are in the grammar of the moment that I should achieve.

Sometimes I kneel to ask for a specific frame of mind - and in
response my Lord suggests another that ultimately leads to the desire
of my heart.

There are times when I kneel - worn, torn, and haggard; to pray for
peace. And he tells either that it is not time yet for peace or he
grants me my request.

But never has there been a moment in my prayers or shortly thereafter
- that I have not felt his presence, and seen a change in my life -
it is not always a significant or paradigm changing answer - but
sometimes it is.

And even when it is not - even when the change is subtle - I feel the
consistency and power of eternity in the prayers that I rely on.

For me, the true power of God is manifest through prayer. It is not
found with such clarity in my dreams that I have, or the work that I
do - because I can lay claim to both work and dreams in certain
cases. It is not found in the majesty of nature - because there is
those things around me that God would not condone in his presence.
But that is as it should be.

I am supposed to create magnificent things - as I am supposed to also
create and maintain harmony; but I do not always do this.

The world is supposed to be a beautiful place - where God's might is
manifest in all things; but it is also supposed to be a place where
we prove ourself in the absence of proof.

The true power of God - that. which sets him above me or any other
man - is that his words are eternal by the nature of his will - which
is unchanging.

I have not always knelt before him for the reasons that I now worship
him. And I know that I will kneel before him tomorrow with a clearer
understanding of why I pray to him today.

I am the one who is changing.

Exodus 2:25 - ...and God had respect unto Israel

I was thinking over the past couple days about verses (like this) in
the scriptures. What does this mean?

Time Sequencing

Time advances when expectation is realized. It is as simple as the
movement of a second hand; as complex as the feeling of
accomplishment or failure; as pervasive as the flow of neutrinos
between universes of existence; and unstoppable as the passion which
fuels the human soul - either towards expression ( and perfection) or
silence ( and the absence of light).

Distance

When distance is a measurement of the variance between two wills -
being 'as one' becomes a matter of perspective: of both the observer
and of the observed.